The Myth of the Black Unicorn

I hadn’t grown my horn yet. The thing that would keep the wrong men away, the ones who fetishised and confused me for other-worldly creatures I didn’t know.

“Nubian Queen.”
“Ebony Goddess.”
“I’ve never been with a Black Woman before.”

I am in fact, a black woman, but not the one this white Australian man was referring to when he invaded my online dating inbox. He meant a caricature, with a large backside, full lips, something tribal and aggressive about the way I dominated as the sexual huntress he imagined me to be.

Read the full story over at Black Ballad

Episode 8: Headscarves and Dating Pt.2

This week, we’re not quite done with all that dating mess! Maame B recounts the subtle racial profiling of online dating in Melbourne, and Abi AK shares a valuable lesson about considering a long term relationship when you live in a transient place like Dubai!

Plus we talk Black British girl magic and the books that you just can’t put down!

Image credit: date by Chameleon Design from the Noun Project

On dealing with difficult people

I am a difficult person. I say that not to be self-deprecating, but because it is a fact. There are lots of things I don’t like, lots of attributes in people that I don’t care for, and many activities I would happily sit out. And yet, most people who meet me will find me mostly agreeable. Which is probably one of the biggest tricks I have ever pulled off because I am really bloody difficult.

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Do the right thing

​I’m going to tell you a story. It’s about a boy and a girl doing some dating. It is a story you have heard many variations of before, and so will seem familiar. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean that lessons cannot be learnt from it. It is not a love story; by that I mean, it does not end in love, or even romance. Yet it still involves dating. Confused? Yes, so was the girl, i.e. Me.

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Why I quit online dating

I don’t get bored easily. This may come as a surprise to anyone who’s read some of my less inspired tweets (“Much Hip, Very Fashion” – yes, this was a real tweet) but they are usually only boring when I’m occupied with something more interesting to do.  I really can remain interested in many things up until the point when I see no more use for them in my life. This often happens quickly. I would say that the death of online dating and my interest in it came about suddenly and with immediate effect.

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