When it comes to affairs of the heart, older doesn’t always necessarily mean wiser. I have found this week, that I possess a vast amount of online dating knowledge that has been sloshing around my brain. I have started to share it and also discovered that I can like most people, give everyone great advice without providing myself with even a lick of it. This is the kind of revelation that repeats; I realised it five years ago and I’m realising it again.
This week is the first time I’ve really put off writing a blog post since I started it a year ago. Now, this is partly because I’ve been busy getting ready to move house (again, finally), and partly because I haven’t been sure what to write. Sure, I can ramble with the best of them, but I’m trying to be more honest with my writing, or so I keep telling myself (and you guys). Thus, here comes a post that is two days late. My bad – I’m sorry if my title implied I might be pregnant. I’m not. And it was intentional. Ha.
Yesterday morning was my 30th birthday and I was waking up in New York City. Even now as I am writing this, the lights of Times Square vibrate through the hotel room window to my right, and I wonder how did I get here? I mean, I know by what mode of transportation (plane obviously), but why at this point in my life, at this moment? Who can say. I wished for it, I got a lot of help to make it happen, and yet as I sit here with the city all around me, I find myself pondering over a lot of things.
Well this week I had my phone stolen and that wasn’t great. My reaction to it was interesting though; and I realised I wasn’t as traumatised as I thought I would be. I mean, I wasn’t robbed at knife point or anything, I just left my phone in a coffee shop for a few minutes and when I remembered it and returned, it was gone. I was mostly angry at myself.
London is a lonely place.”
I remember hearing that a lot from new friends when I moved back to London from Essex. I was working in admin doing data entry at the time, saving up to fund an introductory counselling course and looking for ways the get the hell out of Essex. And when I finally did, I had grandiose dreams of returning to my home city and finally gathering that cool, lifelong group of friends I had seen on all those city-based sitcoms. But as it turns out, London really is a lonely place.
I don’t get bored easily. This may come as a surprise to anyone who’s read some of my less inspired tweets (“Much Hip, Very Fashion” – yes, this was a real tweet) but they are usually only boring when I’m occupied with something more interesting to do. I really can remain interested in many things up until the point when I see no more use for them in my life. This often happens quickly. I would say that the death of online dating and my interest in it came about suddenly and with immediate effect.