The Myth of the Black Unicorn

I hadn’t grown my horn yet. The thing that would keep the wrong men away, the ones who fetishised and confused me for other-worldly creatures I didn’t know.

“Nubian Queen.”
“Ebony Goddess.”
“I’ve never been with a Black Woman before.”

I am in fact, a black woman, but not the one this white Australian man was referring to when he invaded my online dating inbox. He meant a caricature, with a large backside, full lips, something tribal and aggressive about the way I dominated as the sexual huntress he imagined me to be.

Read the full story over at Black Ballad

white boy

I wonder about it.

What I heard when you spoke to me that first time. We let our tongues loose on topics like travel and gender inequality in the workplace. You expressed scepticism over whether the latter really still exists, and I went to work trying to convince you with facts. I didn’t remember for long moments that you were a straight white male, that you had little knowledge or need for empathy towards those that didn’t look like you. The ones that carried more than your three monikers.

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Episode 8: Headscarves and Dating Pt.2

This week, we’re not quite done with all that dating mess! Maame B recounts the subtle racial profiling of online dating in Melbourne, and Abi AK shares a valuable lesson about considering a long term relationship when you live in a transient place like Dubai!

Plus we talk Black British girl magic and the books that you just can’t put down!

Image credit: date by Chameleon Design from the Noun Project

Do the right thing

​I’m going to tell you a story. It’s about a boy and a girl doing some dating. It is a story you have heard many variations of before, and so will seem familiar. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean that lessons cannot be learnt from it. It is not a love story; by that I mean, it does not end in love, or even romance. Yet it still involves dating. Confused? Yes, so was the girl, i.e. Me.

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Why I quit online dating

I don’t get bored easily. This may come as a surprise to anyone who’s read some of my less inspired tweets (“Much Hip, Very Fashion” – yes, this was a real tweet) but they are usually only boring when I’m occupied with something more interesting to do.  I really can remain interested in many things up until the point when I see no more use for them in my life. This often happens quickly. I would say that the death of online dating and my interest in it came about suddenly and with immediate effect.

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Dating and debating

I have been inspired this week! Not by a beautiful sunset or anything to do with nature and going outside, but by the wonders of technology. Or more precisely I have been listening to the audio book version of Aziz Ansari’s new book Modern Romance; which goes into depth about online dating, our obsession with our phones, and technology trying to nudge us towards real human interaction.

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Girlfriend Material

What exactly do we mean when we say that someone is Girlfriend Material? Now when I say we, I’m not including myself in this as I don’t think I’ve ever used the phrase in a non-sarcastic way, but I often hear it bandied around. So what does it mean? The only image that I can conjure up is of a woman who always has a boyfriend, who merges her life with her partner’s after five dates, and stops seeing her friends for months at a time whilst she shapes a new life with her significant other. Did that sound bitter? Well it was, so that’s why it sounded that way; job done.

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