Don’t all the best stories start this way: at the beginning of the end. Just after things get difficult. This story is about leaving therapy, about being the therapist and walking out. It is about stepping away from a belief system you had given your life to for ten years.
Exiting the work was a process. You move away from the constant simmer of emotions, forget the polyester smell of the couch cushions, and return to the memories of borrowed time and fifty minutes filled with silence, anguish, and trauma. These were the hardest things to do. Can you talk about these things? Or at least try?
Read the full piece over at Watermelanin Magazine
Image credit: Photo by Artsy Solomon c/o nappy.co
It’s 11pm and you’re still in the office. By your count you’ve worked at least 50 hours this week and it’s only Thursday. You’ve been working on a big piece of work, it’s important, you feel like you’ve put your blood, sweat and tears into it, trying to ready it for a presentation to the boss. But you already know you’ve wasted your time.
Continue reading “On having your soul crushed”
Sometimes the week just kind of disappears, doesn’t it? I’ve been trying to focus on/ remember the little things that make me happy throughout the week; the things that seem inconsequential but when I look more closely at them, I realise that they helped me survive the week. However, my memory is not what it once was, so I must dig deep to pull out some positive treasure.
Continue reading “Lots of little things”
It’s been almost a year since I stopped going to therapy. The fact that that much time has already passed, shocked me to my core yesterday when I realised it. Which is funny because I think of it often and then for weeks I don’t think of it at all. Most of all I’m surprised I’ve been able to survive this long without it.
Continue reading “Head shrinking: A year on”
Lately I’ve been considering how I fit in. Or more accurately, how my blackness fits in with the whiteness I have grown accustomed to being surrounded by. My experience for the most part has been positive, and any aggressions I have faced would have been nuanced and almost unnoticeable to my previously untrained eyes. Still though, I’ve been thinking about it.
Continue reading “Not quite there yet”
Recently I was at a party. I didn’t know many of the people there, so I was in full socialising mode. The usual introductory conversations ensued.
Continue reading “When the struggle is still real”
Dissatisfaction is a difficult thing not to think about. It’s like an itch that’s in an awkward place that you can’t really get to alone, so you try to ignore it; convince yourself it’s not there. But the more you try to do that, the worse the itch becomes until it’s pretty much all you can think about, and now somehow, you’re itchy all over. People have always told me I’m an overthinker and I can’t think why…
Continue reading “Dissatisfaction and the art of scratching”
There are a few things you’re expected to know when you reach 30; how to manage your finances, how to clean up after yourself, how to stay healthy and other boring stuff like that. You’re also expected to know in some way, after three decades of living, what kind of job you want. And really, you should be in that job right now, forging ahead. I, of course, take issue with this.
Continue reading “Jack of all trades, master of everything”
Sometimes I want to give up. Considering procrastination is this month’s theme, that notion seems very on trend and unfortunately recurring this month.
Continue reading “Work work work work work”
I am a prolific procrastinator. That’s what I have discovered about myself this week. I mean I get stuff done, but like, really, really late. However I suspect it’s something more than just “I’ve decided to be unproductive this April”. So some navel gazing is probably required.
Continue reading “#Mondaymotivation engaged”