So I keep coming across the phrase ‘New Year New Me’, and although it’s shrouded in cliche, I like what it represents. If like me you found 2016, especially the second half, to be an unconscionable beast with a mind of it’s own, impacting negatively on your personal life and general view of society, the opportunity to start again is enticing as fuck.
Don’t get me wrong; I know I probably say the same thing every year. This time last year in fact, I was hopeful about what the year held in store, ready to focus my life more and be driven by some larger purpose. Or at least that’s what I was writing about. I had aspirations of “2016 will be my year”, much like I did in 2015, and 2014, and so on and so forth. But in reality, hopes are just hopes until you put things into motion, and my mental health had other plans for me.
2016 was in reality full of change; I moved house, I moved job, my family mostly moved away from where I was, and I removed myself from any opportunities to become romantically involved. And during that time I probably battled with my depression more than I have ever had to before. Not that there wasn’t a reason for it to rear its ugly head (see previous changes mentioned), but it stayed around for a lot longer than I was used to.
And now that I’ve entered 2017, I’m looking around and realising that not much has changed for me in a year. If anything I’m in a weirdly identical position; soon to move house and looking for new career opportunities, and still out of the romance game. What New Me could emerge from the same old, same old? Well, we all need an excuse to begin again, reset ourselves, even if it is just metaphorical, and we know that December 31st is different to January 1st in name only.
But so what? Let’s allow ourselves to imagine a better us, making better decisions, taking better care of ourselves and accepting less negative shit, until we get to that better place. Until we arrive at another January 1st, smile at our own reflections and say “I hope this year is as good as last year was”.
Here’s hoping anyway.