Review. Rinse. Repeat.

Doing something new every week is not all it’s cracked up to be guys. Sometimes you don’t have a new thing to do, you just have the same things you always do, and you’re not sure that doing those same things in a new way will really improve anything. Thus, you end up doing the same thing you’ve always done, until you arrive at Friday and wonder what the heck you did with your week and why no interesting memory stands out. So in case you were wondering what I’ve been getting into this week, it’s been this weird ass state of mind.

Now I’m not being completely honest; many things have happened this week in my nine to five, straight laced life, which in order to continue with, I must leave out some details about. I’ll just be vague and say that this week there were challenges professionally and emotionally, and I’m not sure how well I handled them.

No I didn’t scream bloody murder at anyone in the office for eating my sandwich (call back to Ross in Friends – Friends call backs will NEVER get old), but I did lose my cool and question every single thing going on in my life at the time. This is nothing new (read any/ all of my previous blog posts), but somehow every time I re-evaluate my life, it feels like the first time. Perhaps because every time I do I’m coming at it from a new, slightly more experienced perspective? Who can say. Let’s continue the ramble.

So reviewing the choices in life I’ve made up until this point can be uplifting and depressing depending on the time of day. Lying in bed at 2am, eyes wide open in slight darkness (because my curtains don’t do the job they’re supposed to) – depressing. Coming out of the gym of a morning with clear blue skies, feeling very impressed with myself – uplifting.

This week was a mixture of the two, but depressing won out in the end – not over choices made but choices being made now. I came to no conclusion; only pondered what I was doing now and what the hell I was planning on doing in the very near future to ensure I was living my best life and being the best version of myself. I have already started putting new plans into motion, and I’ve also just decided that Living My Best Life will be the theme for February.

My point? Haha just joking, I don’t have one. But I will say this; when I’m feeling scatter-brained like this, it’s often because of something bigger going on, and what I really need to do is clear my mind with exercise, or writing or maybe just no longer conversing with frustrating people. I’ll do all three and maybe let you know how it goes.

As always no promises; but maybe that can be my new thing for the last week of January, making and keeping promises? Nah; I’m trying to be the best version of MYSELF, almost forgot who I was for a second.

Image credit: Shower by Creative Stall from the Noun Project

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Maame Blue

Writer| Poet| Blogger| Ghanaian by heart, Londoner by nature

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